The problem with a problem you may be experiencing in any of your relationships is it’s not the problem.
However, with the best of intentions, we have been taught to identify the problem and then fix, or eliminate, it. This causes us untold grief in two primary ways.
The first is, the problem isn’t the problem, at least not as you see it manifesting in your physical experience. The problem you see is a byproduct of a vast configuration of events you can’t. The genesis of the visible problem started a long time ago slowly but surely building through, not only your own experiential memories, but also a whole collection of belief systems, external unmet expectations, misunderstandings, we could go on and on. We could probably post mortem it forever and still be no closer
To save you a long and winding road leading into oblivion, permit me to cut to the chase. The problem you’re perceiving has been created by you.
Now, I know you’ve probably already started shouting at me, “You don’t know what they did! You don’t understand how hard I’ve tried and the other(s) haven’t.” I’m not saying for one second those aren’t true statements but they have very little to do with the problem. At least not with what’s creating it.
Freedom comes from identifying what you can change and changing it, and identifying what you can’t change and not trying to change it.
So now we’ve addressed the first misconception of the problem that it’s originating from somewhere other than inside of you.
Which brings us to the next mistake.
Trying to eliminate the problem will never eliminate the problem. It will only perpetuate and make it bigger. So what do you do? Stop, do a 180 degree turn and start to explore what you would like to see instead of the problem. We spend tremendous amounts of time and energy trying to figure our and eliminate the problem but how much time do you spend on thinking about, and entertaining the solution. What would you like to see? It’s just that simple, whenever you notice an aspect of the problem you don’t like turn around and ask yourself what you do like.
One very important clarification. You are not thinking about what you would like to see because you’re trying to eliminate what you don’t. When you do that you’re still looking at what you want from a place of what you don’t.
You are thinking about what you want for one primary reason, it feels good. That’s where the process ends. Choose what you would like to see for the sole purpose of feeling good. As you do that it will automatically begin to displace what you don’t.
The mechanics of removing the problem are not your job or your business. Don’t go looking to see if it’s still there because then you’ll be drawn back in. Simply keep looking for good feeling alternatives.
The Universe will do the rest and very quickly you’ll forget it was every there.